Bad Children and Cautionary Verse
There is a certain irony that most historic cautionary verse for children is considered wholly unsuitable for contemporary children to read. Imagine the outraged views of the library committee (we'll soon be having the imagine the library as well) considering Hoffman's Cautionary Verse for Children, originally published as Lustige Geschichten und drollige Bilder mit 15 schön kolorierten Tafeln für Kinder von 3-6 Jahren (Funny Stories and Whimsical Pictures with 15 Beautifully Coloured Panels for Children Aged 3 to 6). This collection of poems entitled Bad Children and Cautionary Verse contains some adult-only poems, but thankfully Max has also produced a collection of Cautionary Poems for Children which really is suitable for children.
Awful Ermintrude
Ermintrude is is the sort of child who would drive even the most patient parent to distraction. However, in the best tradition of nonsense poems, her comeuppance doesn't go entirely as planned.
Hungry Arthur
A cautionary poem about Arthur, who ate literally anything and everything and couldn't be persuaded to stop. Eventually, inevitably, he went...
Skinny Vinnie
The antithesis of Hungry Arthur, Skinny Vinny is a child who eats and eats, but still stays thin.
Eat Your Greens
There is impeccable logic to Gretchen Jerusalem Montague Deans's refusal to eat greens, but sometimes being right is not enough.
Shoe Boy
The first of our poems with illustrations by the author, Shoe Boy tells the story of a boy with a most extraordinary medical condition.
Bad Joseph
A tortuous tale in which the mischievous Joseph's exile to Spain is just the start of a series of calamitous events.
Bad-Breath Ronald
Perhaps the most Hoffmanesque cautionary verse in Max's initial collection, Bad-Breath Ronald recounts the tragic consequences of Ronald's absolute refusal to clean his teeth.
The Tragic Story of Barclay, the Bank Boy
A cautionary tale about a much yearned for child who is acquired and then lost in most unusual circumstances.
A Question of Parenting
Arthur Murray is a terrible child who is a long way down the slippery slope and accelerating fast.
Afternoon Love
Rude, but uproariously funny, the poem's sapphic schoolgirl shenanigans make it sadly unsuitable for children.
