My Psychic Aunt

Has my hamster gone to heaven,
With Granddad and cousins seven?

Yes, he has, he’s sitting there,
Eating nuts in God’s arm chair.

Auntie, Auntie, will I love,
Find The One or get the shove?

Yes, you’ll love and find your man,
He’s six feet tall. His name is Dan.

And, dear Aunty, how about Dad,
Does he think I’m good or bad?

He thinks you’re pure as driven snow,
Believe me, child, your Auntie knows.

Well then, Auntie, how did you miss,
That I’ve poisoned Dad and girlfriend Chris?

I didn’t miss it, I looked ahead,
He poisoned you back, you’ll soon be dead.